My Blog
Thursday, May 29, 2008
My 10 Missions In Life
- To finish my studies
- To have a good job
- To built a house for my mom and dad
- To have a small business for them
- To find the perfect girl for me
- To have my own family
- To have cute and lovely kids
- To provide them all their needs
- To be a good husband and father
- To live happily with all my life
Unforgettable Lesson
Some people said that even the good persons will encounter dark times in their lives..When I was still in my first and second year in high school..I never thought of myself being so stupid like what happened before..During my elementary days..my parents told me that they won't have problems with me..I've always been a good child and a good student..I studied hard so that they will get proud of me someday because I finished my studies successfully..But when I entered high school..I gradually changed into a stupid brat..My first year was not so bad but It was then I learned to cut classes and go out with my friends..But when I entered into my second year..things got worst..I became like a wild animal that is out of it's cage..I always came to school late and I don't participate in the classroom..I don't make projects and I don't make my assignments..And during examinations I always cheat and cheat even I had caught once..I learned to enter into small gambling with my classmates and cut classes..The worst thing is..it was then I learned to drink liquor and got so drunk so much..I drink together with my friends and even with my girl classmates..I go out to hang with my friends without my parent's consent..I became so naughty that time that I thought I might get failed and repeat my second year..But luckily I passed with a grade that is considered so embarrassing..So it was then I realized all the things I've done..It's like I woke up from the nightmare that I experienced..My father decided to transfer to other place and lived there..I told myself that it's over..that all of my foolishness is through and I swear to myself that all of those things will remain as a lesson..A lesson that will always reminds me of the worst things that I've done..And I promised to myself that those things won't happen again..
Friday, May 23, 2008
What If..?!?!
They said that being positive is better than being negative but I don't believe it...Since I was young I've always been negative most of the time..my mother told me that it's not good because it implicates that I don't have confident in myself..but for me, I have my own reason why..Like when I joined some school competitions before..I always say that what if I can't win..?!?! what if I can't made it and I will just bring shame to our school..?!?! until now I made it a habit being negative..And now in my college year..I always said to my mom that what if I failed..?!?! what if I can't finish my studies for some reasons..?!?! what If I can't fulfill my dreams and I can't make them proud of me..What if I die today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow..?!?! what if I will no longer see myself having my own family..?!?! Or even I will have my own family..what if I can't do my responsibilities to them because I don't have a good job..?!?! What if I'll see them living in poverty..?!?! with nothing to eat because of me..?!?! I don't know why these things come into my mind.. But one thing is sure to me..It's not I don't have confident in myself why I'm thinking all of these things..Maybe it's my way of preparing myself whenever these things will really happen in the future..Or maybe I'm just thinking all of these to motivate myself to do all my best so that all of them won't happen to me and my family..
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A Failed Mission
Back on my high school years..I had so many friends and almost all of my classmates became my friends..even the students on other sections...One of my friend told me that he wants to court one of my classmate and I told him that I'm going to help him..He continued on courting her and I also continued on helping my friend..And during our Juniors-Seniors Promenade..My friend is still courting her..I saw all the efforts that he did just to win the heart of that girl..He even act like a fool just to make her smile and have dance with him..But I felt that the girl was just making fun of him..and I know that she don't like my friend but I'm afraid to tell him because he might get hurt..She told him that she's already tired to dance..so my friend brought her back to her chair..But in a few minutes, I saw her dancing with other guy...During that night she keep on hiding and running away from him just to make the guy look like a fool..And then after that night the girl told my friend that she don't love him and just stop courting her..I feel sorry for what happened to my friend..He told me everything he did just to win her and at the end he still fails..I promised to myself to help my friend and try to have a revenge for what she did to him..I heard from one of my classmates that..the girl who hurt my friend has a crush on me..^___^ And I told myself..that this is it...this is the time that I've been waiting for..I can have a revenge for my friend..I planned to court her and have a relationship on her but only to have revenge for my friend..that I will only make her think that I love her just to hurt her...Months passed and I felt different inside..I said what is this I'm feeling..?!?! I can't make her feel bad..and I'm already afraid to do it..?!?! But I just ignored it and just continue my plan..We continued our relationship for almost a year..And time came that we broke up..I felt bad inside..And I'm confused why did I feel it..?!?! I'm afraid to tell myself what's true..But I must admit it..that I already fell in love with her...that I was beaten by my own monster...And I have failed my mission...
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A Wavy Dream
When I was a child, I always dream of a plain sea and I was wondering what it means. I asked my mother what my dream means? She told me that the sea represents tears and it means sorrow, it means that in my life I will always encounter problems...And it all came true..We had so many problems in our life, my father and my mother had a problem in their relationship and it even came to the point that they decided to separate. But luckily they had fix that problem and continue their relationship together for the sake of us..But that doesn't end there, problems still came to our life, health and financial problems are still bothering us..I agreed to what my mom told me before about what my dream means..That forever in my life I will always be encountering so many problems and I can never run away from it..But at the other side of my mind, I'm still thinking that what if it's the other way around..?!?! what if my dream doesn't only mean of a negative happenings..?!?! what if it signifies courage..?!?! courage to continue struggling..Because when the storm pass, and giant waves are gone, the true beauty of the sea is shown, the calm and tranquil sea will be revealed. And at the end of my journey, I will find a paradise, a place where I can live happily with my family without having any problems and maybe in that place, I will find the person who is destined for me.
